Arnulf
05-17-2009, 01:25 PM
Hello and welcome to my Blog!
You might ask who I am.
My name is Grolm. Nice to meet you.
Well, you might not know me yet, but in some years you will hear my name sung by thousands of fans throughout the largest stadiums of of the world!
At least I hope so.
But until then you might want to know what makes me think that you should be interested in me at all.
To be honest, there´s not much to tell you at the moment.
My career has just begun and lacks moments of glory and flamboyance, I must admit.
Maybe I can tell you how it all started?
Mhh I guess I´ll have to as there´s nothing else to be told thus far.
Okay, so here we go.
I was born to a soccer family in the wonderful town of Regensburg in the even more wonderful region of Bavaria. Yes, I am german.
Don´t stop reading, some germans DO know what soccer is all about!
Unfortunately my dad and older brothers do not belong to those.
Daddy always told me: "Boy, you´re dumb and ugly. And you´ll always be. So there really is no hope for you to get a sexy girlfriend and become rich and famous. Except, maybe, if you train hard, in soccer."
And I always replied: "Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Now hand me the beer."
Being 11 and asking your dad to hand you the beer might seem awkward for you, but hey, I´m bavarian, we simply are like that.
He had some other good advices for me. Good as in "stupid as hell". He always told me: "Son, you are german and you are less than 2 meters tall, so there´s no hope for you as a defender. You can´t kick a ball 2 meters straight and you are blind as a mole. So don´t even dare thinking about playing in midfield. So you´ll become a striker. And there´s three things that you must be able to do as a german striker: Look scary (or plain stupid, we´ll decide that later), jump high and run around looking busy. That last part is most important, because, if you get the ball, everyone will see that you can´t even spell sokkär right!"
And I said: "Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Now hand me the energy drink."
And I started training. Like a madman. I still can´t kick a ball 2 meters straight and unfortunately my lack of height still makes me unsuitable for a defender. But I can jump, boy can I jump! And I did some good old Stamina training as well. I´m totally able to run away from every position where I might get a ball whenever I need to!
It´s now for years later and I followed my dads advice the best I could. My older brothers preferred the classic german way of studying electronics and stuff.
But not me!
I WILL become rich and famous!
I must.
And, believe it or not. While training with my youth squad (we like to call us the hunchbacks from hell) the manager from the best team I ever could hope to play for noticed me! He said: "Boy, you´re ugly, you can jump and evade every ball you get passed. You´re exactly what I´ve been looking for! Join the glorious SSV Jahn Regensburg and we´ll make you rich and famous!"
And I said: "Yeah, I love you too, manager. Now hand me the contract."
And thus it began. And boy, I´ve only been here for 3 weeks and have learned a lot! Did you know that soccer, professional style, is played with a ball? Filled with air? Man, we always used melons! Doing a header with a ball does not hurt at all! And having no melonpieces in my eyes totally improved my vision!
Unfortunately not all went as good as above. Trying as much as I could I in the first games, I wasn´t able to evade the goddamn ball. My teammates seemed to have a fashion of shoving the ball in my direction. No need to say that generally ended in me losing that damned thing. But I had my revenge! Jumping into the legs of an opposite player is fun! To bad I am to small for a defender...
That´s about all for now. I´ll write again with new and hopefully more interesting stuff to come. But now I´ll have to run. That damned midfielder is looking into my direction again. I need to get into an offside position ASAP!
You might ask who I am.
My name is Grolm. Nice to meet you.
Well, you might not know me yet, but in some years you will hear my name sung by thousands of fans throughout the largest stadiums of of the world!
At least I hope so.
But until then you might want to know what makes me think that you should be interested in me at all.
To be honest, there´s not much to tell you at the moment.
My career has just begun and lacks moments of glory and flamboyance, I must admit.
Maybe I can tell you how it all started?
Mhh I guess I´ll have to as there´s nothing else to be told thus far.
Okay, so here we go.
I was born to a soccer family in the wonderful town of Regensburg in the even more wonderful region of Bavaria. Yes, I am german.
Don´t stop reading, some germans DO know what soccer is all about!
Unfortunately my dad and older brothers do not belong to those.
Daddy always told me: "Boy, you´re dumb and ugly. And you´ll always be. So there really is no hope for you to get a sexy girlfriend and become rich and famous. Except, maybe, if you train hard, in soccer."
And I always replied: "Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Now hand me the beer."
Being 11 and asking your dad to hand you the beer might seem awkward for you, but hey, I´m bavarian, we simply are like that.
He had some other good advices for me. Good as in "stupid as hell". He always told me: "Son, you are german and you are less than 2 meters tall, so there´s no hope for you as a defender. You can´t kick a ball 2 meters straight and you are blind as a mole. So don´t even dare thinking about playing in midfield. So you´ll become a striker. And there´s three things that you must be able to do as a german striker: Look scary (or plain stupid, we´ll decide that later), jump high and run around looking busy. That last part is most important, because, if you get the ball, everyone will see that you can´t even spell sokkär right!"
And I said: "Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Now hand me the energy drink."
And I started training. Like a madman. I still can´t kick a ball 2 meters straight and unfortunately my lack of height still makes me unsuitable for a defender. But I can jump, boy can I jump! And I did some good old Stamina training as well. I´m totally able to run away from every position where I might get a ball whenever I need to!
It´s now for years later and I followed my dads advice the best I could. My older brothers preferred the classic german way of studying electronics and stuff.
But not me!
I WILL become rich and famous!
I must.
And, believe it or not. While training with my youth squad (we like to call us the hunchbacks from hell) the manager from the best team I ever could hope to play for noticed me! He said: "Boy, you´re ugly, you can jump and evade every ball you get passed. You´re exactly what I´ve been looking for! Join the glorious SSV Jahn Regensburg and we´ll make you rich and famous!"
And I said: "Yeah, I love you too, manager. Now hand me the contract."
And thus it began. And boy, I´ve only been here for 3 weeks and have learned a lot! Did you know that soccer, professional style, is played with a ball? Filled with air? Man, we always used melons! Doing a header with a ball does not hurt at all! And having no melonpieces in my eyes totally improved my vision!
Unfortunately not all went as good as above. Trying as much as I could I in the first games, I wasn´t able to evade the goddamn ball. My teammates seemed to have a fashion of shoving the ball in my direction. No need to say that generally ended in me losing that damned thing. But I had my revenge! Jumping into the legs of an opposite player is fun! To bad I am to small for a defender...
That´s about all for now. I´ll write again with new and hopefully more interesting stuff to come. But now I´ll have to run. That damned midfielder is looking into my direction again. I need to get into an offside position ASAP!